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[story] ATCv2 #11

 
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emmel

External


Since: Dec 18, 2003
Posts: 1134



(Msg. 1) Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:14 pm
Post subject: [story] ATCv2 #11
Archived from groups: alt>games>creatures (more info?)

Here, at last number eleven. A bit short, but anyway. I'm not quite sure
people's reactions are quite believeable, so please let me know.
Otherwise: Any comments welcome. (Yes, that means you should comment.
Now.)

*****

Jesij turned the letter over and then back again, but it failed to
show anything it hadn't for the past few hours. Jenn pulled a chair
back and sat down across from her.
'At least eat the soup I made. You can't keep staring at the
letter all day. This isn't good.'
There was genuine concern in his voice; Jesij dropped the
letter.
'Your daughter runs away in the middle of the night, your wife
set off after her, alone, and you are concerned about me old woman?'
She shook her head in dismay.
'I'm getting to old. I can't understand you young people
anymore.'
'You', Jenn started, putting extra emphasis on the word, 'are
the only one I can do anything about at the moment. Aleana can take
care of herself, trust me on that, and I'd only have slowed her down.
And for Laiva... If Aleana says she is all right, then she is all
right.'
Jesij couldn't discern any hint of doubt in his voice as he
said that last part - and she had been watching out for it. How could
he be so sure? How could Aleana be so sure? Just because of that piece
of paper? Once more Jesij picked the letter up, and read the words:

Whatever coast, whatever shore,
Wherever you may cast your light,
The wings of ancients, evermore,
Will roam the skies, at day, before,
They gently cover you at night.

The stylized picture of the eight-leafed azanee flower had
been drawn below - maybe by means of signature, or just for an
ornament. And that was all there was to the letter.
She knew the line, of course; nobody who'd ever heard the 'The
Downfall of Everett' did, but that didn't shed any light on the issue.
Those words had a meaning to Aleana, bore a message, and yet all she
could see were a few lines of ancient poetry.

Even hours after Laiva had left, she still lingered in the thoughts of
Reesha, soldier on indefinite leave and newly appointed inn keeper. He
was cleaning carrots, and that left him with plenty of time to ponder,
his hands taking care of work almost on their own. It was embarrassing
to freak out like that, no doubt about that. At the same it felt to
him like a lucky escape. He wondered how far she'd have gone if he'd
insisted.
He could almost hear the war drums again. The drums had been
the worst; beating on and on while the world was turning red, beating
on even when the cries should have drowned out their sound, and still
beating when everything had been over. Only, it was never over.
'Open up!'
That startled him. He couldn't remember anyone shouting that,
especially not a woman...
'Open that door, or I'll break it!' the voice declared,
finally pulling Reesha out of his thoughts and back to the present.
The door. Someone was banging against the door. He quickly tossed his
knife into the carrots and put the bowl aside.
'I'm coming, one moment.'
The banging stopped. He unbarred the door and pulled it open,
an excuse for the delay already on his lips, but then he saw the face
of the caller and words left him. He flinched. The caller looked right
like the girl - only with a few more years to it.
Aleana ignored the man's reaction.
'Have you seen my daughter? Eight years, brown hair?'
Not quite the canonical way to start a conversation, but there
were more important things than manners, no matter what she had taught
Laiva. Besides she was in no mood for courtesies; she wanted answers,
and she wanted them now.
Intended or not, her harsh tone worked wonders on Reesha; this
was no tone for a question - he had been given an order. Years of
military drill came to bear, and he snapped to attention.
'Passed here shortly before noon. Had her dog with her.'
He almost added 'sir' to his answer. Aleana eyed him curiously
for a moment, then she realized what he had just said. Her voice
faltered and almost pleading she added:
'Why haven't you stopped her?'
Reesha gulped. He could live with being ordered around, but
nobody ever taught him how to handle this.
'I... I tried... She... didn't want to...'
An uneasy silence ensued, leaving him in dreadful anticipation
of what might follow, but then Aleana just nodded slowly and walked
away.

Twilight was about to turn into night, when Laiva at last spotted the
outlines of three huge trees against the sky - the Sentinels; finally.
According to legend the oaks were enchanted warriors, left by
a king of ancient times to watch over his grave, a grave filled with
gold, precious stones, and other riches things Laiva couldn't remember
at the moment. It was a stupid legend. As if nobody would have found
the treasure already, directly at the road as it supposedly was.
Still, the trees made for a good landmark, and the inn was
right behind the small bend in the road they marked. It was about
time, too. After nightfall the doors and windows would be barred, and
then she'd have to spend another night outside. The mere thought made
her shudder.
Well, in a few minutes she would sit in front of the fire, eat
hot soup and then get to sleep. Or just sleep; she was seriously
tired. Only a few more steps - she could already see the light of the
windows shimmering through the trees.
Suddenly, Mynor froze in his stride. For a moment she just
stood there, his gaze fixed intently at the light ahead, but then he
laid back his ears against the head, bared his teeth and growled.
Laiva unsheathed her dagger. Whatever had caught his attention, it
couldn't be good. After a few seconds he turned his head towards Laiva
and gave a long look, then moved towards the trees. Obediently, she
followed, her heart was beating so loud, she was afraid it could be
heard for miles.
At first, Laiva thought they were approaching the inn from the
backside, getting a closer look from the cover of the trees, so she
was surprised to find him leading her around it in a wide berth; that
possibility hadn't even occurred to her. Was Mynor afraid of what
they'd find? Did he already know? Was he trying to keep her away on
purpose? Maybe she should sneak a look...
She didn't realize she had stopped moving until Mynor halted
himself and turned his head; giving her a serious look, as if wanting
her tell her off for even thinking something like that. Whatever he
really meant by it, it brought Laiva back to her senses. If Mynor did
want to keep her away on purpose, it would be only for her best.

The last remainder of daylight had long gone, when Mynor allowed them
to stop. Gratefully, Laiva let her backpack slide from her shoulders
and slumped down next to it, more falling than moving out of her own
accord. She didn't know how much further she would have managed to go,
but very much, it could not have been; she'd been more stumbling than
walking as it was.
For a moment though she could fight the tiredness, managed to
keep herself upright, but then unceremoniously fell over. Soft moss
greeted her like a soft bed and moments later she felt Mynor snuggling
up against her. Laiva wrapped an arm around him and let her fingers
run through the his soft fur.
She had to be out of her mind, giving up on the inn on the
whim of a wolf. A wolf she had only met the day before, no less.
Spending another night in the forest, after she had barely made it
through the last one. But it felt good, and deep down Laiva knew she
was right to entrust herself to Mynor. She knew he would keep her
safe.
The big grey wolf looked at the girl, her chest raising and
falling in a slow, regular rhythm. She looked so helpless, was so
frail. And yet she had a heart stout enough to rival the boldest of
men.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

story backlogs available at http://ranira.wordpress.com

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... Smile
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Proud owner of 1 (one) DISOBEDIENCE point.
Former owner of 1 (one) eating point (eaten, sigh).

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Neo

External


Since: Jul 07, 2008
Posts: 16



(Msg. 2) Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:56 pm
Post subject: Re: [story] ATCv2 #11 [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

emmel wrote:
> Here, at last number eleven. A bit short, but anyway. I'm not quite sure
> people's reactions are quite believeable, so please let me know.
> Otherwise: Any comments welcome. (Yes, that means you should comment.
> Now.)
>
> *****
>
> Jesij turned the letter over and then back again, but it failed to
> show anything it hadn't for the past few hours. Jenn pulled a chair
> back and sat down across from her.
> 'At least eat the soup I made. You can't keep staring at the
> letter all day. This isn't good.'
> There was genuine concern in his voice; Jesij dropped the
> letter.
> 'Your daughter runs away in the middle of the night, your wife
> set off after her, alone, and you are concerned about me old woman?'
> She shook her head in dismay.
> 'I'm getting to old. I can't understand you young people

too old

> anymore.'
> 'You', Jenn started, putting extra emphasis on the word, 'are
> the only one I can do anything about at the moment. Aleana can take

can do anything for

about sounds like killing him Smile

> care of herself, trust me on that, and I'd only have slowed her down.
> And for Laiva... If Aleana says she is all right, then she is all
> right.'
> Jesij couldn't discern any hint of doubt in his voice as he
> said that last part - and she had been watching out for it. How could
> he be so sure? How could Aleana be so sure? Just because of that piece
> of paper? Once more Jesij picked the letter up, and read the words:
>
> Whatever coast, whatever shore,
> Wherever you may cast your light,
> The wings of ancients, evermore,
> Will roam the skies, at day, before,
> They gently cover you at night.
>
> The stylized picture of the eight-leafed azanee flower had
> been drawn below - maybe by means of signature, or just for an
> ornament. And that was all there was to the letter.
> She knew the line, of course; nobody who'd ever heard the 'The

everybody who'd ever heard

> Downfall of Everett' did, but that didn't shed any light on the issue.
> Those words had a meaning to Aleana, bore a message, and yet all she
> could see were a few lines of ancient poetry.
>
> Even hours after Laiva had left, she still lingered in the thoughts of
> Reesha, soldier on indefinite leave and newly appointed inn keeper. He
> was cleaning carrots, and that left him with plenty of time to ponder,
> his hands taking care of work almost on their own. It was embarrassing
> to freak out like that, no doubt about that. At the same it felt to
> him like a lucky escape. He wondered how far she'd have gone if he'd
> insisted.
> He could almost hear the war drums again. The drums had been
> the worst; beating on and on while the world was turning red, beating
> on even when the cries should have drowned out their sound, and still
> beating when everything had been over. Only, it was never over.
> 'Open up!'
> That startled him. He couldn't remember anyone shouting that,
> especially not a woman...
> 'Open that door, or I'll break it!' the voice declared,
> finally pulling Reesha out of his thoughts and back to the present.
> The door. Someone was banging against the door. He quickly tossed his
> knife into the carrots and put the bowl aside.
> 'I'm coming, one moment.'
> The banging stopped. He unbarred the door and pulled it open,
> an excuse for the delay already on his lips, but then he saw the face
> of the caller and words left him. He flinched. The caller looked right
> like the girl - only with a few more years to it.
> Aleana ignored the man's reaction.
> 'Have you seen my daughter? Eight years, brown hair?'
> Not quite the canonical way to start a conversation, but there
> were more important things than manners, no matter what she had taught
> Laiva. Besides she was in no mood for courtesies; she wanted answers,
> and she wanted them now.
> Intended or not, her harsh tone worked wonders on Reesha; this
> was no tone for a question - he had been given an order. Years of
> military drill came to bear, and he snapped to attention.
> 'Passed here shortly before noon. Had her dog with her.'
> He almost added 'sir' to his answer. Aleana eyed him curiously

This made me laugh Smile

> for a moment, then she realized what he had just said. Her voice
> faltered and almost pleading she added:
> 'Why haven't you stopped her?'
> Reesha gulped. He could live with being ordered around, but
> nobody ever taught him how to handle this.
> 'I... I tried... She... didn't want to...'
> An uneasy silence ensued, leaving him in dreadful anticipation
> of what might follow, but then Aleana just nodded slowly and walked
> away.
>
> Twilight was about to turn into night, when Laiva at last spotted the
> outlines of three huge trees against the sky - the Sentinels; finally.
> According to legend the oaks were enchanted warriors, left by
> a king of ancient times to watch over his grave, a grave filled with
> gold, precious stones, and other riches things Laiva couldn't remember
> at the moment. It was a stupid legend. As if nobody would have found
> the treasure already, directly at the road as it supposedly was.
> Still, the trees made for a good landmark, and the inn was
> right behind the small bend in the road they marked. It was about
> time, too. After nightfall the doors and windows would be barred, and
> then she'd have to spend another night outside. The mere thought made
> her shudder.
> Well, in a few minutes she would sit in front of the fire, eat
> hot soup and then get to sleep. Or just sleep; she was seriously
> tired. Only a few more steps - she could already see the light of the
> windows shimmering through the trees.
> Suddenly, Mynor froze in his stride. For a moment she just

Gender change again!! 'for a moment he just'


Now the suggestions:
It seems to me that Aleana can track Laiva down to the place in the
forest where she slept between werewolves. Maybe even discover 'dog
hair' around that place.. yet no dog corpse.. (she couldn't have eaten a
whole dog, now could she?). Especially since you bring up her first
night in the wild again Smile

But I loved this story. I loved the riddle.
***SPOILER***
Bet it has to do with Dragons (wings of the ancients), but casting your
light at a shore/coast sounds like a light house. Thus a place and a
creature to find there. I remember something with a dragon in the last
of the previous series of installments! Which makes you wonder why she
wrote that. But in any case, she is heading for the coast which is all
Aleana needs to know right now!
***SPOILER***
Neo
--
Everything that has a beginning has an end.
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Neo

External


Since: Jul 07, 2008
Posts: 16



(Msg. 3) Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:41 pm
Post subject: Re: [story] ATCv2 #11 [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

emmel wrote:
> And when it was 2008-07-29, illusion
> <488f3df0$0$49896$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl> was created,
> stating that Neo <what.RemoveThis@thematrix.is>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
<snip>
>> But I loved this story. I loved the riddle.
>
> I didn't realize there *was* a riddle.
>
>> ***SPOILER***
>> Bet it has to do with Dragons (wings of the ancients), but casting your
>> light at a shore/coast sounds like a light house. Thus a place and a
>> creature to find there. I remember something with a dragon in the last
>> of the previous series of installments! Which makes you wonder why she
>> wrote that. But in any case, she is heading for the coast which is all
>> Aleana needs to know right now!
>> ***SPOILER***
>
> Oh. Interesting. And completely on the wrong track Smile

So... post another one!

Neo
--
Everything that has a beginning has an end.
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emmel

External


Since: Feb 19, 2008
Posts: 47



(Msg. 4) Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:50 am
Post subject: Re: [story] ATCv2 #11 [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

And when it was 2008-07-30, illusion
<4890e02c$0$49590$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl> was created,
stating that Neo <what DeleteThis @thematrix.is>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:

> emmel wrote:
>> And when it was 2008-07-29, illusion
>> <488f3df0$0$49896$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl> was created,
>> stating that Neo <what DeleteThis @thematrix.is>
>> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
><snip>
>>> But I loved this story. I loved the riddle.
>>
>> I didn't realize there *was* a riddle.
>>
>>> ***SPOILER***
>>> Bet it has to do with Dragons (wings of the ancients), but casting your
>>> light at a shore/coast sounds like a light house. Thus a place and a
>>> creature to find there. I remember something with a dragon in the last
>>> of the previous series of installments! Which makes you wonder why she
>>> wrote that. But in any case, she is heading for the coast which is all
>>> Aleana needs to know right now!
>>> ***SPOILER***
>>
>> Oh. Interesting. And completely on the wrong track Smile
>
> So... post another one!

Won't help you with that bit. Anyway, aya#2 is up as well; you might
want to check that out in the meantime.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

story archives available at http://ranira.wordpress.com

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... Smile
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Proud owner of 1 (one) DISOBEDIENCE point.
Former owner of 1 (one) eating point (eaten, sigh).

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
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